Have you ever stood in front of a cinema complex, slack-jawed as you read the titles of the latest movies and the dreams and fantasies they promise, and thought to yourself, “I’d rather sniff nails than pay to watch any of these?” You are not alone. Have you ever wondered why old-time film critics, although sometimes pedantic, seemed knowledgeable and scholarly while the current critics, young YouTubers, and assorted criticasters seem kinda brain-damaged? It’s not a delusion, and you are really on to something.
It was the future. The year? 2013.
Somewhere hidden below the festering nest of neon, chrome, and roving gangs of hipsters of New Los Angeles, Disney’s underground laboratory woke up from its slumber. Commanding calls and urgent messages in the middle of the night reached the bleary Disney scientists: “Rise and Shine, boys, the Vault’s up. Get to work! – B.I.”
The Boss had spoken, and from all around the country, scientists specializing in neuromarketing, behavioral sciences, and Artificial Intelligence traveled to New L.A. Their goal, to design the new Star Wars trilogy.
This is the editorial of the last issue of Asimov’s Science Fiction Adventure Magazine, a short-lived magazine from late 1978 to late 1979. I guess he had no idea the magazine was going to be canceled since the subject of this editorial —even if interesting— is probably not about what one would write for a final issue.
Anyway, I liked his comment on how destroying a spaceship in words is as easy as doing anything else in words. That’s something many people who write as if they were filming a movie (or a video game) usually forget.