As I said in the previous post, this is the write-a-story-a-day month, so let’s begin with something unique (and longer than I had expected.) It’s not what I usually write, but I liked it anyway.

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Like those astronomical objects that are first discovered by the effects they have around them, David’s first glimpse of her was indirect, of the fluttering of people orbiting around her and the deviations she caused in passersby’s trajectories as they got close to her gravitational pull.

True, it could have been an accident, like some drunk falling unconscious, something quite common with so many tourists now, but there was too much movement, too much trying to act normal, and not enough phones out (at least openly.) And like floating things in space, people accelerated the closer they got to the centre of the attracting force, and as they passed by, they (the men) slowed down once again and looked back when they felt they were at a safe distance. David was not the smartest of men, but some ancient, primaeval lobe of his brain did the job for him and informed him the source of the disturbance: There’s a woman there — and what a woman she has to be! Go take a look! NOW!

A few meters later, behind a protective entourage of clacking women, he finally caught the sight of the woman herself, sitting on a bench of the promenade overlooking the beach. Just her long left leg, crossed over the right one and compressed against it and the bench. The leg began with a playful, wiggling, sandaled feet and then went up, and up, and up, without a single shred of cloth to hide tanned, strong thighs that would have already caused many accidents if the promenade wasn’t closed off to cars And it didn’t stop there, because the really short blouse she wore was…

Agh! His view got blocked as he almost crashed into someone else (who was probably as distracted as he was.)

David blurted an apology and his heart lurched when he realized how close he was now to her and her accretion human disk; he had pretty much walked off the walkway. Well, no reason to change course now.

Another of her —certainly attractive but not as much— friends blocked his view just as he was going to see where, if anywhere, her dress started. Five or six of them pranced around her, phones out and generally acting like only young, attractive women who upload seminaked pictures of themselves online are allowed to act. Lips puckered, hips out and spine-breaking body contortions, infantilized demeanour, taking pictures as they hug each other… that sort of stuff. A tantalizing sight in any other situation, but not when he knew there was something much better within.

David veered off casually and mustered all his will to slow down, to take in the sights, and then he saw her. She wore a yellow, openwork and low-cut off-shoulder blouse covering (he assumed) a bikini or perhaps nothing at all. And that was pretty much all she had on. Essentially a sleeveless shirt, loose in a more frail frame (and this was not one) it would have already looked dangerously short standing, but because she sat on the bench, it had ridden up and up and you could easily follow the curvaceous line of the feet, calves, thighs, squeezed hamstrings… and up it went almost until the lower back. David coughed. His throat suddenly tickled for some reason.

He was almost there. A few meters more and he would crash against one of her protective females. Out of my way, you chaperoning floozies! his brain shouted.

He had to take evasive action, but he did not. He had never seen a woman like that, and he was not going to waste the opportunity. She was above his paygrade, his class, his looks, and his everything, but he would not evade her. He would not avoid her eyes (as he usually did with women); he would not cower and shy away (as he also did,) he would look straight at her and… then go on with his life and never see her again. But it would be worth it! A test to prove himself!

Then a miracle occurred because two of the girls in the outer shell got together to check something on their phones, creating a path that he baldly used. He was inside and realized he had been holding his breath. He imagined the gasps of astonishment and admiration from the other men who watched her from a safer distance.

There was nothing now between them, just two paces, and their eyes made contact. She was smiling faintly and one of her trimmed eyebrows (the only sign of makeup on sight) rose a notch, as if aware, perhaps even grateful, of his daring. David kept his eyes locked on her as long as he could as he passed by, and then another miracle occurred. For one reason or another, one of her bangles in her right wrist fell to the ground. One of her friends stooped to pick it up but David pounced on the thing before she could reach it. Touch it and I’ll rip off your head, his face seemed to say when he met the girl’ eyes.

David stood up, but he took his time, straddling the fine, 500ms line between admiring gaze and sexual harassment. Strong legs, flat stomach, a proud and bountiful cleavage with no tan lines, bare shoulders, plump lips… He looked at her unashamedly, while, he knew, all the other chumps around dared only to steal glances at her.

She took the bangle from his hand. “Thank you,” she said.

David froze up and blinked repeatedly, not sure that he had heard it well. There was a lot of noise in the promenade, perhaps something had interfered.”Excuse me?” He asked.

She smiled, timidly and a bit awkwardly, as if this was not the first time this had happened. “Thank you,” she repeated slowly like she was talking to a special kid.

David’s mouth fell open and the surrounding muscles contorted, preparing for a laugh. Her voice! She had a chipmunk voice — if the chipmunk was high on Helium and someone was strangling cats and babies in the background. It was the most ridiculous voice, no… sound, he had ever heard!

“You are… you are wellc…” David stammered. He tried. He did indeed try to say it and then get out, but he was unable to hold it any longer. The laughter crept up to his throat and finally burst out hysterically, almost like the laughter of a madman. His face was just a meter away from hers as he lost it completely.

David stepped back and covered his mouth, but it was impossible to staunch the tide now. “I’m sorry… I… I” He tried to say but kept laughing, which only made things worse.

Her face was now aglow with anger, and all around her, a tense silent (broken only by his barely suppressed giggling) had formed. She anxiously signalled to someone outside. Soon, a man, and quite a big one, tramped inside the circle, neck craned out and casting furious looks around as if already looking for a fight. He was tattooed, muscular, and most likely doubled her age. He was tanned, wore gold rings and sunglasses, and flashed an expensive watch alongside cheap sports clothes. He looked like a cross between a Russian boxer, a Mafioso, and a gorilla.

David covered his mouth with both hands now, and finally his laughter dried up. Then the woman did something even worse than talking, he began to make rushed and angry hand signs to the man, who, already quite angry, became even redder as her manual exposition went on. David’s mouth almost broke as it snapped open and he laughed harder than he had ever laughed.

He pointed a finger at the glaring man. “Her sugar daddy is deaf! Deaf! AH-HA-HA-HA!” He shouted repeatedly between hysterical, painful and gasping burst of a laughter impossible to restrain.

The first bone-breaking punch landed immediately, and then others followed, with a few kicks tagged on at the end as a goodbye, but the first punch was all it would have taken to send him to the ground (and the hospital) anyway. People took pictures and videos. The agglomeration soon dispersed, and the shrill but obscenely hot woman and her entourage left too.

David lay on the ground, looking at the night sky as if in a dream, and when the paramedics found him they thought he was choking in his own blood. They turned him over but the gurgling sound didn’t die, for he wasn’t (only) choking but also chuckling through broken teeth and a swollen neck.

“Worth it… it was worth it,” he said with a smile before passing out.