Daily Intelligence Summary 19 – 03 – 2018


1.Nicaraguan man dresses his dog as a D&D wizard to appeal to Saint Lazarus.


I’m quite sure that scroll is actually an Open Infernal Gate spell, and if any entity at all hears their prayers, it won’t be any saint.

Praying for pooches: Nicaraguans appeal to Saint Lazarus to cure pet dogs – Japan Times 19.03.2018

Forget the vet — worshippers in Nicaragua appealed to a higher power to cure their beloved canine friends Sunday, during an annual festival in honor of Saint Lazarus.

Dressed up as angels, sports players, sailors and princesses, dogs in the western city of Masaya joined their owners for a colorful celebration recognizing the patron saint of beggars and the sick.

2.Barbara Streisand claims to have never suffered sexual harassment, a statement that would have otherwise been received with joy by those who believe the current harassment mania is becoming a bit too much, but since we are talking about Barbara Streisand here and Breitbart chose the headline  “Barbara Streisand: I’ve never been sexually harassed,” you can imagine the comments are very civil and benevolent.

3.Some Indian politician says something about tobacco and... who cares, really, I just wanted to post the image they used as a reference

Sharad Pawar attends a programme organised by the Indian Dental Association (PTI Photo)
Sharad Pawar attends a programme organized by the Indian Dental Association (PTI Photo)

Nightmare fuel.


4. Canada’s Imperator and Primus Inter Pares, Justin Trudeau, discovers a brilliant way to make his decision/commitment to send soldiers to Mali look good: send women.

Canada’s Mali mission will emphasize deployment of female peacekeepers – CTVnews 18.03.2018

OTTAWA — The Canadian military’s upcoming foray into Mali is expected to include a marked female presence as the Trudeau government looks to have Canada lead by example in the push to have more women on peacekeeping missions.


Mali has long been seen as a frontrunner for where Canada would deploy peacekeepers, after the Liberals promised a return to UN missions during the last federal election.

But the government had nonetheless dragged its feet for several years, in part because of perceptions that it was an extremely dangerous mission given that dozens of peacekeepers have been killed in attacks there since 2013.


5. Meanwhile, in the South, across the apocalyptic wasteland know as America:

Oklahoma mother will go to jail for marrying her daughter – BBC news, 15.03.2018

Patricia Ann Spann, 45, pleaded guilty to the felony offense of incest and admitted wedding her biological daughter, Misty Velvet Dawn Spann [lol], 26.

The mother lost custody of her children and reunited with her daughter in 2014.

The two married in March 2016 after same-sex marriage became legal in the state.

Investigators later discovered Patricia Ann Spann had previously wed her son.

Her son, who was 18 years old at the time, annulled the marriage on incest charges in 2010 after tying the knot with his mother in 2008, according to the Oklahoman.

The married mother and daughter were discovered by the Department of Human Services during a child welfare check-up.

According to the Oklahoman, Misty Spann also had the marriage annulled in October last year after arguing she had been fraudulently induced into it.

She said her mother had lied about consulting “three separate attorneys who advised there would be no problems with the marriage”, reports the newspaper.


6. A shadow company in Spain lead by an ex-Venezuelan civil servant hits gold by buying cheap Mexican food and selling it at a 25%-50% margin per unit to the Venezuelan government.

Suffering from extreme inflation and lack of basic products,  Maduro’s government has to import food from abroad, but the whole process is not transparent and many suspect it’s riddled with cronyism and corruption (no way!)

(in Spanish) Ganar con el hambre en Venezuela – El País, 18.03.2017


7. Publishers fake outrage when it is discovered that a genre based on the deepest sexual fantasies may be problematic.

Romance so white? Publishers grapple with race issues amid author protest. – The Guardian

Queer romance writer Cole McCade came forward last week to reveal conversations with editor Sarah Lyons of the New Jersey-based publisher Riptide. McCade, who also writes as Xen Sanders, described Riptide as “at all levels hostile to me as a person of colour”. He published an email from Lyons in which she told him: “We don’t mind POC But I will warn you – and you have NO idea how much I hate having to say this – we won’t put them on the cover, because we like the book to, you know, sell :-(.”

Lyons has since resigned. As Riptide authors came forward to ask for their books to be pulled from the publisher’s list in the wake of McCade’s revelations, the publisher issued a statement saying it had accepted Lyons’s resignation, describing her behaviour as “unacceptable” and said that it did not condone Lyons’s comments about people of colour on covers.
But the uproar continued to grow, as authors and readers shared Riptide’s previous missteps: in 2016, it apologised after one of its novels featured a black character who was referred to as “Dark Chocolate Love Monkey”; earlier, it also apologised for a website for a series set in a world where slavery remained legal, which included fake ads for buying and recruiting slaves.
It will be interesting to see how they’ll manage to get away when someone discovers half of those books are basically rape fantasies.


8. The first victim of the machine uprising

Self-Driving Uber Car Kills Arizona Pedestrian – NY Times 19.03.2018

SAN FRANCISCO — A woman in Tempe, Ariz., has died after being hit by a self-driving car operated by Uber, in what appears to be the first known death of a pedestrian struck by an autonomous vehicle on a public road.
The Uber vehicle was in autonomous mode with a human safety driver at the wheel when it struck the woman, who was crossing the street outside of a crosswalk, the Tempe police said in a statement. The episode happened on Sunday around 10 p.m. The woman was not publicly identified.




The joke, of course, is that they already have it.


10. The universe may end when it finally hits nothing.

The universe may end in a collision with a bubble of nothingness – New Scientists 19.03.2018

The Higgs boson could destroy the universe. There’s a chance this particle has collapsed in a distant corner of the cosmos, producing a bubble of expanding vacuum energy that could envelop us all.

The end of time and space as we know it is predicted by the standard model of particle physics, a theoretical framework describing all known particles and forces. Playing out these interactions to their logical end, researchers have found the most precise estimate of the lifetime of our universe ever made.

The …

Unfortunately, you need to be subscribed to the New Scientist to read the rest of the article so I can’t relate you the horrifying fate that awaits us when PURE NOTHINGNESS engulfs the Universe and devours us all.

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